Once people hear that you are a romance writer, it seems that no question is off limits. Seriously. The following is a list of things that I have been asked either at work, by people I know, or just in general. So instead of constantly having to answer over and over again, I am considering making a FAQ.

1) Romances must be the easiest things to write, huh? I can see why you'd do it.

Actually, no. They're not 'the easiest things to write'. The easiest things to write are grocery lists. Romance novels have very specific plots and structures. They are also full length novels, require just as much outlining, thought, subplots, and character development as any other genre of fiction.

2) Your husband is a lucky guy! I bet you guys have the craziest sex life.

My husband has no clue what I write. We do not 'try out' stuff for me to put into my books, any more than JRR Tolkien 'tried out' being a hobbit by walking around on his knees, or that guy that wrote the Dexter novels has 'tried out' killing people to see what it's like. It's called an imagination.

3) Your family must be so embarrassed that you write smut!

Actually, they're really, really proud. I keep having to send them more bookmarks because they keep giving them away. Smut is "BUSTY NINJA BABES IN A HOT TUB". My books are about relationships.

4) You're such a smart girl - why are you writing bodice ripper rape fantasies?

I'm not writing bodice-ripper rape fantasies. My books are about relationships. There is absolutely no rape, and no one's bodice has been ripped. When my characters come together for sex, it's a mutual decision. Your stereotypes are also about 25 years out of date (give or take).

5) It's all about the sex, isn't it? Be honest.

No, it's still about the relationship. I promise you, I could fade to black in every sex scene if I wanted to, and the main gist of the story would remain. I just choose not to, because I think it adds flavor to the story.

Nor is it all about the sex for other writers of romance. I'm sure Jane Austen wasn't hung up on Mr. Darcy's cock when she wrote Pride & Prejudice. Georgette Heyer never once mentioned anyone's dong. And there are plenty of romance writers today that choose not to write sex into their romances.

6) You're just in this for the money, aren't you? Isn't that why all romance authors write?

I'm into getting my books published for the money, yes. That, and the recognition. However, I am into the writing because I like telling a story. I also started out writing fantasy, but I found that the relationships between my characters was far more important to me than any other aspect of the story, and I happily made the switch. You can't write something you don't love or are not enthusiastic about and hope to make a career out of it. I mean, you can hate a desk job, and it pays far better than most romance writing does. If  you're just writing romance because you think it'll make you rich, you're better off starting your own eBay store.

7) I'd write romances but I like to write stuff that challenges me.

I'd like to take this time to point out that all romance novels have plots - some complex, some not so complex. This is just like every other genre of fiction, where you have some lighter novels, and some darker novels. If you're not challenged by writing romance, then please, by all means, do not write it. But insulting an entire genre by simply saying it's not what you like...well, that's dumb. Please don't tell me that writing stories about elves or spacemen or mystery-solving librarians is far, far more challenging than me writing about a pirate or a rake or a werewolf.

8 ) So when are you going to write something important instead of this other garbage?

By important, I assume you either mean 1) literary fiction or 2) my grocery list. In which case, my answer is 1) never and 2) still never.

9) I wrote a lot of sex in my book. This makes me a romance writer too, right?

Oh, absolutely. And I wrote about someone getting shot in my book, so this makes me an expert marksman.  In all seriousness, romances have extremely specific plots and just because your book has sex does not mean that it is a romance. There are lots of movies that have sex in them that aren't a romance. Basic Instinct, for example. Starship Troopers. That one with Glenn Close and the bunny.

Not. Romances.

10) You get your rocks off when you write, don't you? This stuff is porn, right?

No, it's not porn. It's about the relationship. Nor am I writing because I get my jollies from it. I like writing about the relationship, and all aspects of the relationship. That includes the arguing and the awkward "Does he love me?" moments. All aspects.

Not porn. Remember, porn = BUSTY NINJA BABES IN A HOTTUB.

11) Are you sure it's not porn?

Go away.