Overshooting the Box

I’m making an effort to blog a bit more, you guys! But I keep running out of stuff to talk about. It’s weird, because I used to love to yammer about stuff I’m working on, but now that things are contracted or heading out on submission, I get weird talking about them. Now I’m scrambling for stuff to talk about! And I doubt you want to hear about the latest cute things my cats did, or how many times I played Left 4 Dead this weekend, or how many times my husband beat me at Magic. Or the chores I did not do. So I’m going to try and keep this somewhat industry-related for a bit (and if you have something you want me to blog about, feel free to poke me in the comments).

 So let’s talk about your favorite subject, and mine. Paranormals.

 When I was at RWA, paranormals were brought up and discussed repeatedly. As one of the genres that’s ‘here to stay’, it’s getting as much face-time as historical or contemporary or anything else you can imagine. Not to mention that if you troll any editor or agent tweets (or blogs) online, paranormal remains a hot topic.

 And as you can imagine, everyone has horror stories of ‘paranormals that went too far’.

 Everyone jokes about vampires being out one moment, then being in. Big cat shifters are in. Werewolves (actually, I have no idea if werewolves are in or not). And then there was the discussion a few days ago here about if were-bears are sexy. Some say yes. Some say no. Steampunk and post-apocalyptic are the buzz words of the moment.  Man-harem romances are in (like the BDB), but are quickly getting glutted. Demons remain hot, angels are a case-by-case scenario, and no one seems to show much enthusiasm when you mention the words ‘time’ and ‘travel’ together.

 Here’s the thing though. Don’t be weird. Just because it’s paranormal does not give you the go-ahead to throw every wacky idea down on paper and call it a day. I’m guilty of this too! I know! I came up with an idea a few weeks ago and immediately emailed my crit girls and said “OHMYGOD I just had the best idea ever. It’s X meets Y! It’s like Z, but totally sexified up and (cue buzzword here)! What do you guys think?”

 Friend One: Um.

Friend Two: Uh…yay?

Obviously they were not feeling the vibe that I was. Now it’s true that a lot of stuff doesn’t sound so hot until you read it. I had a horrible time trying to tell everyone what my succubus books were about (“It’s a girl! Who is like… a sex vampire! But not!”). And the valkyrie book that I pitched long, long ago? Yeah. Didn’t happen.

But there’s a fine line between Batshit Crazy and F#cking Genius. Know the line. Be its friend.

F#cking Genius: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (did you see that? You take the familiar and give it a twist and suddenly everyone is amazed at how clever you are)

Batshit Crazy: P&P&Z…but you make Mr. Darcy the zombie. That’s just nasty.

 Or here’s another example.

Let’s say you want to write a book about shifters that run a summer camp just for shifter kids. But all the good shifter types are taken, right? (there’s a reason for that). You could go with were-cats (too overdone) or werewolves (yawn) but you’re really wanting something that will make the reader sit down and take notice. Stand out in a crowd!

So you come up with… were-armadillos.

See the box? You just punched a hole right through it.

Box GOOD:  Shifter summer camp!

Box BAD: Shifter summer camp…with WERE-FREAKING-ARMADILLOS.

Seriously guys. There are bad were-animals out there. If it’s a vegetarian were-animal, it’s a bad idea. If you’ve ever had it hit your bumper on a farm road and you had to scrape it off your front tire? It’s a bad were-animal.

The trick is to delicately be inside the box, but at the same time, offer a new twist. Don’t re-invent the wheel! Give the wheel some jazzy spoke-beads and a nice flashy decal.

Shifter summer camp is a good idea but doesn’t really have that zing, right? What if all the shifters…don’t know how to shift? And they’re learning at summer camp? Or what if there’s a West Side Story rivalry between the were-dogs and the were-cats?

That’s your story. That’s how you jazz up the box.

Reminder:

 In the Box: A man-harem of immortal men in search of their soulmates and saving the world from um, demons!

 Box GOOD: A man-harem of immortal men (let’s make them Greek Reapers) in search of their soulmates (let’s make them rival Norse Valkyries!) and fighting over recruits for their cause (let’s say they’re hunting down souls)!

Box BAD: A man-harem of immortal men (Let’s make them Greek Reapers with skeleton hands and skeleton, um, manly bits! That only come to life when the heroine touches the skeletal peen!) in search of their soulmates (virgin widows who suffer from vagina dentata!) and fighting over (does it even matter at this point?)

 Inside the box. Insiiiiiide. Box is your friend. Don’t punch holes in the box.

Common insulting things said to (or about) Romance Writers

Once people hear that you are a romance writer, it seems that no question is off limits. Seriously. The following is a list of things that I have been asked either at work, by people I know, or just in general. So instead of constantly having to answer over and over again, I am considering making a FAQ.

1) Romances must be the easiest things to write, huh? I can see why you’d do it.

Actually, no. They’re not ‘the easiest things to write’. The easiest things to write are grocery lists. Romance novels have very specific plots and structures. They are also full length novels, require just as much outlining, thought, subplots, and character development as any other genre of fiction.

2) Your husband is a lucky guy! I bet you guys have the craziest sex life.

My husband has no clue what I write. We do not ‘try out’ stuff for me to put into my books, any more than JRR Tolkien ‘tried out’ being a hobbit by walking around on his knees, or that guy that wrote the Dexter novels has ‘tried out’ killing people to see what it’s like. It’s called an imagination.

3) Your family must be so embarrassed that you write smut!

Actually, they’re really, really proud. I keep having to send them more bookmarks because they keep giving them away. Smut is “BUSTY NINJA BABES IN A HOT TUB”. My books are about relationships.

4) You’re such a smart girl – why are you writing bodice ripper rape fantasies?

I’m not writing bodice-ripper rape fantasies. My books are about relationships. There is absolutely no rape, and no one’s bodice has been ripped. When my characters come together for sex, it’s a mutual decision. Your stereotypes are also about 25 years out of date (give or take).

5) It’s all about the sex, isn’t it? Be honest.

No, it’s still about the relationship. I promise you, I could fade to black in every sex scene if I wanted to, and the main gist of the story would remain. I just choose not to, because I think it adds flavor to the story.

Nor is it all about the sex for other writers of romance. I’m sure Jane Austen wasn’t hung up on Mr. Darcy’s cock when she wrote Pride & Prejudice. Georgette Heyer never once mentioned anyone’s dong. And there are plenty of romance writers today that choose not to write sex into their romances.

6) You’re just in this for the money, aren’t you? Isn’t that why all romance authors write?

I’m into getting my books published for the money, yes. That, and the recognition. However, I am into the writing because I like telling a story. I also started out writing fantasy, but I found that the relationships between my characters was far more important to me than any other aspect of the story, and I happily made the switch. You can’t write something you don’t love or are not enthusiastic about and hope to make a career out of it. I mean, you can hate a desk job, and it pays far better than most romance writing does. If  you’re just writing romance because you think it’ll make you rich, you’re better off starting your own eBay store.

7) I’d write romances but I like to write stuff that challenges me.

I’d like to take this time to point out that all romance novels have plots – some complex, some not so complex. This is just like every other genre of fiction, where you have some lighter novels, and some darker novels. If you’re not challenged by writing romance, then please, by all means, do not write it. But insulting an entire genre by simply saying it’s not what you like…well, that’s dumb. Please don’t tell me that writing stories about elves or spacemen or mystery-solving librarians is far, far more challenging than me writing about a pirate or a rake or a werewolf.

8 ) So when are you going to write something important instead of this other garbage?

By important, I assume you either mean 1) literary fiction or 2) my grocery list. In which case, my answer is 1) never and 2) still never.

9) I wrote a lot of sex in my book. This makes me a romance writer too, right?

Oh, absolutely. And I wrote about someone getting shot in my book, so this makes me an expert marksman.  In all seriousness, romances have extremely specific plots and just because your book has sex does not mean that it is a romance. There are lots of movies that have sex in them that aren’t a romance. Basic Instinct, for example. Starship Troopers. That one with Glenn Close and the bunny.

Not. Romances.

10) You get your rocks off when you write, don’t you? This stuff is porn, right?

No, it’s not porn. It’s about the relationship. Nor am I writing because I get my jollies from it. I like writing about the relationship, and all aspects of the relationship. That includes the arguing and the awkward “Does he love me?” moments. All aspects.

Not porn. Remember, porn = BUSTY NINJA BABES IN A HOTTUB.

11) Are you sure it’s not porn?

Go away.

Weekend, glorious weekend!

It’s almost time for me to veg out for the weekend, and I couldn’t be more excited to do ABSOLUTELY nothing. Work’s been a bear (when is it not, right?) but I’m just so thankful that I have a job right now that I can’t (and won’t) complain. Well, complain much.

This weekend’s goals – finish off a Sekrit Project. I’m very excited about said Sekrit Project, but finishing it this weekend might be a bit of a stretch.

After that? It’s back to the novella I’m writing. And then two zombie fairy tales (because I promised!) and another novella. And then after that, I’m going to work on cleaning up ‘The Island’ for public consumption.

This is all between deadlines, of course.

(Speaking of deadlines, if you haven’t entered my Amazon.com gift certificate contest on the last post, you really should. Right now your odds aren’t bad, and all you have to do is answer three silly questions.)

Anyone have a project list they’re going to tackle this weekend?

Things I should not promise to do:

1) Blog ‘tomorrow’.

2) Promise to run a contest on a Monday.

Seriously y’all. I am drowning in work. I know that’s not an excuse, but that’s what it is. Until I catch up, blogging will be sporadic.

So in the MEANTIME, I’m going to hold a contest anyhow. Starting now!

Not in regards to my bookmarks – I was going to have everyone guess how many man-nipples are on my bookmarks, but since I still can’t share cover art (it’ll be ready someday, I promise!), I figured I’d go with something else. So! Contest! Answer these 3 questions in the comments:

1) Mantitty makes me happy – Yes/No (and tell me why)

2) True or False: I could potentially find a were-bear hero sexy. (and tell me why)

3) I cannot wait for the book _______ to come out! (and tell me why)

 That’s it (and you really don’t have to tell me why, though I admit I’m curious about all three).

Answer those in the comments thread and I’ll draw a random winner in about a week or so.

The prize? $25.00 to Amazon.com. So if you can order on Amazon.com, you can enter the contest.

easy? peasy? go!

(For the record, my friend Jane says a werebear cannot possibly be sexy. I think they can, but I could be wrong. So that’s why I’m asking. That, and I’m weird.)

RWA Quickie Recap and More

Hi all!

I’m back from RWA safe and sound, though I still feel like I’m in recovery mode. I didn’t forget about the contest (never fear!) but I’m going to need the weekend to finish catching up and mentally processing everything.

RWA was awesome, as usual. I missed all of the PAN track, almost all of the panels, but I had some really great meetings, caught up with friends, and basically handed a bookmark to anyone that was even remotely interested. The consensus? My covers are smoking hot, and the hero on the second cover might or might not have a baseball in his pants. I’m just saying.

I actually got to fly home first class, too! That was a first for me. When I went to check in with the airline, a message popped up on the screen. “Would you like to upgrade to first class for $135?”  This is like asking, “Would you like a free cookie with your frappucino?” or “Would you like a two-book contract instead of just one?” Total no brainer. Naturally, I said yes! So I got into my fancy first-class seat and…what a difference! Leg room galore, a blanket to keep me warm, and a nice little table separating me from my seatmate. There were even earphones, a TV, and breakfast. Unfortunately, I missed all of that since I totally passed out and fell asleep before the plane had even left the dock.

As soon as I got home…copyedits on book two were waiting for me! So I finished those…and went back to work, where my boss said “Oh good! You’re back! Here’s three projects!”

Story of my life. J So I’ve been a bit swamped. But! I am trying to dig my way out. I’m planning on a few more zombie fairy tales within the next month, and as long as I have publisher permission, I’m going to serialize the dinosaurs-conquistadors-Bermuda-Triangle romance. I’m thinking one chapter a week until it’s done, but we’ll see how much editing it needs.

So that’s the not so exciting, tl;dr update of my life. I’ll be back on Monday or so with the contest. Trying to decide if I want to give away signed books that I snagged at RWA or an Amazon gift certificate. Thoughts?

I am at RWA this week!

I will be at RWA this week. I’m not taking a laptop, so I won’t be blogging, but I will be Twittering and occasionally posting pictures when I remember.

Also! I have these:

Rack cards!

Rack cards and bookmarks! So if you want to look at my cover art, be sure and check the Goody Room, or flag me down (I plan on carrying plenty.

Also, if you get a bookmark or rack card, SAVE IT. I’m going to hold a contest when I get back, and you will need to answer the following question: How many man-nipples are on the bookmark/rack card? Fabulous prizes await.

Have fun this week!

Permission to write

Granted!

(At least to myself)

After I finish my novella (which has picked up, much to my delight), I am giving myself permission to go back to the Crackhead Project. Because I read through it last night and I still want to work on it (and love it and hug it and possibly call it George).

It’s amazing how freeing it feels to give myself permission to work on blow-off projects. Well, that, and working on a project every day exponentially increases the love you have for it.

I’m expecting my promo bookmarks in any day now. They’re arriving just in time for RWA, and I will be carting them around by the handful while at conference.

If you want to see my terrific cover art, this is the ONLY way to do it (at least for a few weeks). So if you want a bookmark, just ask me! And keep it at hand for after RWA, because I intend to have a contest where you can win something impressive. Like lots of free books, or a gift certificate, or maybe even an ipod.

Also

It occurs to me that I have this argument with myself every few months.

Carry on, carry on.

Hello, my name is Jill Myles…

And I’m an idea chaser.

It’s shameful to admit, I know, but it’s true.  I want to write an epic fantasy. I also want to write a YA horror novel. And a romance. And an urban fantasy. And a fairy tale novel. And a historical romance. And…I think you see my problem.

It’s not the bad TV shows or movies that are the insidious ones. It’s the ones that do something GOOD, but they do not do it GREAT. Or they take the story in a direction I don’t want to see. I don’t care about an airship full of pirates! Take me back to the part where the hero and heroine were going to kiss again! Damn!

The writer-brain is ever at work. It seems a movie and thinks of ways to make it better. It reads something it likes, and begins to add to the story. What if the writer took it this way? Or this way?

Suddenly, new ideas are assaulting my brain. This, my friends, is both blessing and curse.

Let’s say you write a few novels…we’ll say ‘twelve’.  The first one is one of those kitchen sink books that no one can classify. It has time travel, monsters, historical tidbits, coming of age, evil puritans, and a hot Ojibwe dude who thinks the heroine is ugly but loves her anyway. This book is basically garbage. Sorry. The next book? Epic fantasy. Book one of a bajillion. Except you’re still learning how to write, so none of the story pieces sort of go together, and it’s kind of weird all around. The next book is a little better – it’s more or less a young adult novel featuring a heroine and dragons. Which is fine except that the heroine is a little overly sexualized/traumatized and the rest of it kind of screams to have the serial numbers filed off of it, or Anne McCaffrey might sue. So yeah. That one’s in the trunk too. The next one is Your Preshus. The one where things start to click, but the writing ain’t there yet. It’s an urban fantasy with a light, goofy tone, a heroine that is more shrill than funny, and a wisecracking horse. You still freaking love the horse. It’s not romantic, it’s not dark, and basically, it’s all wrong for the market.

Anyhow, that book is close but no cigar. Lots of bites, but no one reads the full manuscript. So you abandon #4 and you write something new, because at that point, you don’t know what’s wrong with that novel. And the next one…the next one gets you an agent. But let’s say you’re left rudderless and with still plenty of spare time while that one sells, right? So you write a few more things as your agent sells your book. Namely:

1) An urban fantasy about superheroes. It’s kind of light and fluffy.

2) A time travel romance

3) A romance that’s paranormal (kind of) and in the wrong voice (doh). Everyone pretty much tells you this idea is too weird.

4) That second book you’re contracted for. Yay you! You stuck with a genre!

5) A fantasy romance.

6) An urban fantasy. But this one is dark and srs bzns and woe. (You also kind of hate this one)

7) A light paranormal romance. Yay! There’s that genre again!

So let’s recap. You’ve sold a book! Hurray you! And your publisher says “We love this! What else have you got?”

…

And you look back at your list, and really, the only thing you’ve got is the most recent book you wrote. Sure, I can lob the time travel romance at my publisher. But time travel doesn’t sell, and why am I writing something else when my paranormal voice is so good, right? What about the fantasy romance? Bzzt, sorry. Different audience. Urban fantasy? Maybe. Which one? Light or dark? Because you can’t do both – people will expect a certain tone from your books. And heck, you might have to take a pen name and start building an audience all over again anyhow. And do you really want to do that?

A game plan is so, sosososo crucial. You have no idea. Think about what you enjoy writing. If you enjoy writing a bunch of stuff (like, say, me), focus in on one thing. Focus in on what people really seem to enjoy in your writing. Maybe your crit partners aren’t super crazy about the flying nuns in your latest book, but they sure do like the way you pulled the mystery together.  Focus on that. Write more mystery.  Build your brand.

Because, really. Think of an author you loved and followed for years…and then that author switched genres. WHY GOD WHY? Don’t you feel betrayed? I sure do! I still haven’t quite gotten over my favorite author’s switch to romantic suspense (a genre I normally don’t read).  What if George R. R. Martin decided to write detective stories instead of fantasy? Wouldn’t all those Westeros cosplay fans feel disappointed and left out?

(Now, GRRM can do whatever the hell he wants, I think, because the audience would follow him. But little ol’ me? Not so lucky.)

So anyhow. I tell myself this because I am talking myself down from several ideas. Instead, I am working on a light, sexy paranormal novella.  I’m sticking with my genre, because once you get the contract, you can’t write just for yourself anymore. You’re writing for your business as well as potential fans. And you don’t want to confuse them by writing an urban fantasy one day, and a cozy knitting mystery the next. Just sayin’.

(And if you have suggestions on what I’m supposed to do with a romance that involves the Bermuda Triangle, conquistadors, and dinosaurs, I’m all ears.)

Getting ready for RWA National

Hair? Cut.

Dresses? Bought.

Dress shoes? Check.

Sweaters/tops? Ditto.

Luggage? Yup.

Tan? Never.

I did waffle about a pair of tights, but ended up going with them. We’ll see how that turns out. I’m going to spend the next week in a frantic state trying to finish two weeks’ worth of work in 1 week, slowly, sloooowly packing stuff so I don’t have to wash it again before wearing it, and generally remembering to bring everything. I hope.

My schedule is made, room plans are done, tickets are bought, and I don’t think I’m leaving anything to the last minute except maybe travel toothpaste. I wasn’t sure what to expect last year but this year I have a general idea.

(now if my promo materials could just get here so i can squee over them)

If we were supposed to meet up for breakfast/lunch/whatever and we have not talked, EMAIL me because I am booked, yo.

Anyone else got last minute prep for Nationals?