All right, so the husband and I are still carrying on a passionate love affair with our X-box 360. The thing just freaking rocks. And in addition to your games that you've bought, you can download extra content through X-box Live. Some of them are old games, some of them are additional mods to existing games...

And some of them are just kind of creepy.

I share with you...Remote Masseuse! Only on the X-box 360.

Choices, Choices

That's right. That rumble feature on your X-box controller can be used for evil. You basically get to remotely 'rumble' your partner's controller - fast or slow, your pick! What makes this even MORE creepy? This program supports the wireless headset mode so you can 'chat' with your partner while you both rumble merrily away. But fear not, lonely dweebs. This game has solo mode too, apparently.

I kind of have to say...I lost a little respect for Microsoft just now.

I just wrote up a really long post about reviews and video games and books and wordpress ate it.

*tears hair out*

That does it. I'm done blogging for the day.

The X-Box 360 Version:

1) Beautiful Katamari. Have you heard of this game? Probably not. I know I was all "Whuuu?" when a friend suggested I get it. So I bought it and did not realize it is some sort of Sgt. Peppers crack-pipe dream that is probably only sensible when you are smoking a little something-something or drunk. Allow me to show you exhibits:

Do not adjust your settings - this is really the game.

And

Rolling a big ball of random crap is your duty as prince!

Needless to say, being sober and not on any illegal substances, I suck at this game.

2) Rock Band -- I know what you're thinking. How can you possibly suck at Rock Band, right? There's FOUR different instruments, so you're bound to be good at one of them, at least?

That would make you wrong, my friend. Wrong.

Now, I love me some Rock Band. My husband is a virtuouso with the game guitar, so I thought I'd master the drums, right? Easy enough? Just hit stuff and make notes happen? Such a foolish thought.

First of all, there's a kick pedal. Now, it's bad enough that my hands have to be doing something, but you're asking me to use a kick pedal too? No one told me I had to be coordinated for video games! Add in the fact that the drums have to be hit in the center for this to actually work, and that I nearly stabbed myself in the eye with the drumstick on the recoil?

Drummer in the Rock Band was short lived, alas.

It looks like this...until you fail, of course.

So I thought I'd try my hand at the microphone instead.

Here's a little something about me. I love to sing. LOVE. I'm even fairly good at it. I made regional choir in grade school and took voice lessons for a while. Problem is, I don't like singing loud enough where others can hear me. It freaks me out. This, as you can imagine, might be a tiny problem if you are playing a game called "Rock Band" and your part involves making noise into a microphone. But my husband swore he wouldn't look at me while we played (which was important) so I gave it a shot.

The upside? The microphone for Rock Band is really, really sensitive. You can barely sing into it (read: inaudible) and still score the same as if you're belting it out.

The downside? To go into Overdrive (which is like Star Power for Guitar Hero), you have to sing a note into the 'yellow' power part of the bar. You can see it on the end of this screenshot:

By the Power of Grayskull....

The problem with this? This part of the song is NOT sensitive to soft sounds. I guess a real rock'n'roll girl would say "YEAH!" or "WOO!" or something at this point.

Me? I went for "Hey". It's a little inelegant, but functional.

Second problem - you don't have a lot of time to "HEY" into the microphone, because it zooms by pretty fast. This makes me nervous, so I end up shouting it into the microphone.

Third problem - If the word you shout is too short, it doesn't take effect. So you have to do it again, longer, the next time the yellow bar comes around.

This is what a typical song is with me on the mike:

woah, we're halfway there Woah Oh, Livin on a prayer, HEY, take my hand and we'll make it I swear, HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

After a few rounds of this, my husband sorta begged me not to do the microphone anymore. I can't blame him. I nearly shattered his eardrums on an Iron Maiden song.

Now I pretty much have given up and just do bass on easy. It's not glamorous but no one gets hurt.

3) Dance Dance Revolution -- For this, you need coordination AND good motor skills AND be able to jump around AND don't have size ten feet like me, or you'll keep hitting the wrong notes with your ginormous toes.

You probably need chemical substances to appreciate this one too, come to think of it...

(Seriously, this game is fun, but I suck royally at it).

The tutorials aren't so bad and beginner? Kind of fun. A lot of fun, actually. But then sometimes your big size 10 toe slips and when you go to the next song, your setting is suddenly on "Oni" (Which I think is Japanese for "You've done it now, Sucka!") and then the arrows are flying across the screen faster than your brain can process, and you fall to the ground weeping.

Not that this happened to me, of course.

The sad thing? All these games are *really* fun. I just wish I wasn't quite so uncoordinated so I could play them for longer.